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| Wednesday, May 5th, 2004 | | 9:25 am |
this is just a post to let off some steam and to say fuck you to a whole bunch of people out there
first off, I am not going to change, anyone who thinks I am going to change fooling themself. I work 60 hours a week, and I give that all to my wife and saving that up for a house. I haven't bought clothes or shoes for myself in 2 years. Anything I have gotten were presents from relatives / friends. I get called fucking dead beat and all I do is smile and pretend I don't know what is said behind my back. I love my kid to death and play with her all the time when Tammy is sleeping. I am also going to school so I can go to University. I do get upset, after a 20 hour day of work when people do not take 5 minutes out of their time to take a look a something so they can get something done for me that I don't have time for or I will not be home and able to do it. My life has become a routine of work, study, play with Kayla sleep, work, study, play with Kayla. I haven't seen basically anyone except for work. I feel pretty pathetic when I leave for work and I see someone just getting on and they see me again on their next shift while I am still working my same long 10-20 hour shift then go home and sleep for 2 hours and study my brains out for chemistry. I must make my own food, and do my own dishes in laundry in this time as well, and I am compared to ashwani? I paid well over a 1,000 dollars per month for my wife to live in london while I am not even living there myself. I move in with my wifes parents so I can be supportive and helpful and be their for my wife and kid because I love them. Yet this is not enough for some people. I get sneer looks and remarks while I hold or play with my kid. I get bitched at for things I couldn't have possibly done. My stuff is moved around on my constantly so it is difficulty to find stuff and then I am just thought to be forgetful because I don't defend myself, its a waste of time and effort typically. Things that were supposed to be done 9 months ago are still up in the air. My wife getting a job, or getting on government aid is still not done. Only my wife can apply for this stuff. So many things that could have made my life easier for pissed out the window. Tammy if had a job, could go on maternity leave and collect 700 dollars a month for a year. I could go on paternity if tammy got a job and I stayed home and looked after the kid all day and collect 1,000 dollars per month for a year. I pay for food and still I am treated like shit. Basically if I paid food, rent in london, rent in st. thomas it would be my whole paycheck, I would be working for literally nothing, just punching my card in, going to work, lifting 50 kg (80-90 pounds roughly for americans) over and over and over again. I am pretty sore working for dick all money but I need that benefit plan so bad for kayla. Mostly everyone asks tam when the divorce is going to be or her to leave me. Would you people please get in touch with reality? Obiviously your not very in touch with it. The only person and there is only one who can make comments that I would actually listen to is her dad. He is the only person who would take care of Tam the same way I am right now, so If you aren't willing to devote every single day doing something you hate for someone you love thats pretty fucking sad. Put up with so much Bullshit you just want a put a slug in your brain but dont? You keep on going. So if you aren't willing to do this for tam or even just giving her 1,500 dollars a month then shut the fuck up. You have no right to say anything, that includes you amber. I feel bad because I have neglected the friends that have supported and me and given me strenght when I needed it most. Been there just because it wasn't convient or being their isn't just sending a fucking e-mail. They would drive all the way from fucking nova scotia just because I was feeling depressed and weary. or even being their when the other person was shit faced and crying about in ex or dead relatives. Friends also don't take advantage of one another, or trust eachother. Or even better friends actually fucking listen to you see ya later all, I doubt I be seeing much of Tam anymore, so I will let all have your way take my bow, and leave the stage. I don't really care anymore because obiviously my love causes more pain then good. Oh yeah, I didn't fucking rape tammy just to set the record straight, its funny how someone can say I love you but say such fucking horrible things about you. And for all you stupid mother fuckers out their who don't have brain in their head, do the fucking math, kayla was 33 weeks at april 16. add on 19 weeks and you have the conception date, which was the date that both ultrasounds said. Not that it really matter but the fact people treating my like I am idiot doesn't really help matters out see ya. | | Friday, February 6th, 2004 | | 7:35 pm |
hope
well I am off now to practice my words per minute in typing. I have a typing test on monday and hopefully I can score a 50 words per minute score. The only problem is the accuracy part of it. If I get the job in London it would just absolutely rock. I wouldn't have to worry about a lot of things anymore and the job starts off at $10 / hour. It is a call in centre for customer support for microsoft's new website or something like it. I brought over Tammy some of the Laur's famous spaghetti which made me unhappy that my Dad told Tammy what the secret ingredients are in it :(. Its a family recipe ;) so I guess Tammy can know now. Frankie is still waiting to get back from those people in Toronto about picking up the contract for the Loblaw's across from where Tammy lives. $2000 at least per month for working 24-32 hours a week doesn't sound to bad to me. Could make more if I got a co-op program going there. I know they have one for the librarie in St. Thomas to reduce the cost of labour, I wonder if you can do the same thing at a grocery store. Anyways my job interview is on this Monday in London at 1 oclock, I don't think I have to work sunday night so I should be very alert and lively for my interview. If I get into trouble I will just ask, what would chomster, a.k.a. brown boy, do (the brown khmer boy who stood up and gave a speech at my wedding). Hopefully I can get the video that we taped at the wedding recorded to VHS and stored on my computer as well. I will need to send a check or money order to Avon Maitland Distance Learning Centre (online courses rock!). Wonder what Tammy is thinking of Taking in September for school. She has a massive presentation she has to do for me regarding mortages and duplexes' and OSAP. Ah much better. I always type better without my watch on and much faster :). I am going to have to remember to take it off when they are doing my testing to see how good and fast of a typer I am. Worse comes to worse and I bomb it and then I gotta rely on my people skills, eeep, ehehhehehe what am I talking about, I worked at Tim Horton's for a total of three years my people skills rock, especially with assholes who think they are better then me and that I must worship the ground they walk on because they are too lazy to take 5 minutes and make their own coffee. I swear people are just sooo fucking retard some days. Perfect example, you can pay 1.69 for 500mL of chocolate milk at Tim Hortons or you can go to the variety store next door and pay 0.89 cents. This wouldn't be so bad if some people order say a donut and chocolate milk, but no, you have stupid fucks who come in and just order a chocolate milk. Man, it's the same chocolate milk, and I know my ugly mug isn't what keeps bringing them back. Same at zehrs, some religious fantatic gets in Scotts face about dip. She said I don't like the name a hellvagood dip. Lady is saying I don't want my children to see the word hell at a grocery store and saying she will never shop here again and she is going to take on zehrs. My god, I felt sorry for poor Scotty, just watching him while I was dust mopping getting bitched out. Crazy. well I am off | | Tuesday, February 3rd, 2004 | | 1:25 pm |
nothing important
finally starting to get some hours at Zehrs so I quit Tim Hortons. Life is so frustrating at times. Work work and more work. Both jobs are extremely physically taxing. My boss is putting a bid in for me for my own contract over in London so I can be around Tammy more offen. Found out we are stuck with the apartment for the full lease and we can't sublease it. Its an expense want. I call it a want since it is not really needed. Tammy doesn't have a job in London, and she isn't going to school in London. I have to make at least $1,200 a month just to break even. With a baby I will be needing to bring in about $2,000 a month and pick up the courses I need. Sometimes its frustrating when I see her because I mostly only get the bad stuff when we meet. Its good to hear though the baby is healthy but on the same token I get stuff smeared in my face like the daniel and tammy issue again. Someone posted it on their LJ for a poll of scandals of 2003. Also that Daniel is talking to Carly its all fucked up. Well I will get to see how far tammy got on the projects I assigned to her. The deadline for a lot of them is this thursday. Hopefully she wont disappoint me. Interestlying enough I had some spar time this morning so I opened up the piano and played paper dream and brace me up. Sometimes I wonder if this is all real or just an illusion. Does Tam really love me? or is she just milking me dry and just wants someone to talk care of her the rest of her life. So frustrating if she would do something to prove actually cares or loves me it wouldn't be so bad. I turn out to be the bad guy in the end no matter what. Always flips things around and says I don't know if you love me or not. I dont know really what to believe. All I know for sure is that Tam's pregnant, my back aches day to day, and that cancer kills. | | Friday, December 12th, 2003 | | 10:12 am |
pay day
I am so happy, its pay day, my long hard working days at Tim Hortons are about to pay off hurrah! Going to go the bank and ask out registered home owner's plans. Going to hand in my business plan on monday, and going to try to do something with tammy today or next Wednesday. Work is finally coming along, starting to get a hang of it, but a friend is going to give a resume from Unico, a factory that is in London, and that is hiring. :D. 17.85 / hour isn't too bad. Midnights, 12 hour shifts, 5 days a week. Tammy asked me what I wanted for Christmas, and I want is her to finish school, because if she does that it can alleviate some of the pressure of me having to work so much. Sigh, well off to get paid today | | Monday, November 24th, 2003 | | 3:08 am |
waiting for work
A lot of things to do today, work, picking up my Business Plan, going to a job interview and job hunting. I don't feel good right now, my stomache isn't feeling that well. I saw my dear sister Rebecca. I might be able to get a free car for a year hopefully. My grandparents also came over today. We all celebrated my dad's birthday. I feel bad because I wasn't in a good mood. Some of my thoughts are coming true. Tammy wants me to get work off the day after the wedding. I will tell Frank I need both days off. Boy, am I really twisting his arm behind his back. First told him I needed December 20th off, then told him I needed the shifts off and would need December 6th off, then I told him I needed that shift back again and would need the 10th off. I am also telling him I can't work midnights on that anymore on account of me getting another job with better hours and benefits. Also, I defend a person who committed time theft and was able to keep him on. Crazy, if I wasn't a good worker, I would be so fucked. I think I will also look into applying as a garbage man, as well as at the hospital. I can't be picky, I just need to make money for the baby and tam. I am going to get Julio fired because he doesn't know his ass from his head. Forgets to lock up the propane tanks and walks out with the propane key. Sigh, I slept on pile of wooden skids after work. It was surprising comfortable. I slept there for two hours before the lady in GM (General Merchandising) woke me up. Also talked to Toni for a bit. I am thinking of making a downpayment on a duplex, but I want to get some more money before I do. Car is an investment that will just keep costing me money and its value disappears like alcohol infront a drunk sigh. Kara Lynn Laur I like the sound of that or Kira Lynn Laur Well Tam likes Megan, Hailee, ummm Megan makes me think of Megan Burdan though I don't want name my daughter after her. | | Sunday, November 16th, 2003 | | 9:28 am |
a moment of clairity
Andrea called me last night. Made me so happy to hear from her. I wrote her letter and got a letter back with a picture of her kid. Hehehhehe doesn't look anything like her. Poor kid. Gets all her looks from the Malaskies. Maybe she will grow out of it. I feel bad now, I must have ran up her phone bill up soooo much. We talked about pregnancies and hows life. Her fiance is taking accounting at school, and when he is done, she will be taking programs in college to become a social worker. Ha, I asked her what she was going to college to become, and then I immediately knew, social worker, DUH! She asked me what I was going for in school next year, told her I wasn't planning on going yet. She bitched me out for a bit, but I explained to her it wasn't feasible for me to go yet. Couldn't get a hold of kanova or brian last night, but brian called me back anyways. Wahoo, 100 bucks a month extra income from the chomster Mr. Chom for 5 months. I will be collecting from Brian soon too. Then my sister afterwards. Accounts payable rule! Also have bonds coming in soon, had to get them re-issued, due to my sisters natural urge to destroy and commit crimes. HAHAHA, oh well she is a Laur, hope my kid wont be like that. The ideal kid, my brains, my brother jasons athletic ability, my brother mike's cunning, becca's charm, and amber... well, ummm lack of conscience? I really wish I could have taken off work and hang out with my fiance and amber and harold ahhahah, old friend said he would arrange a polygraph if I wanted. That would be interesting, having tam hooked up to one, but then she would probably want me to do one too. the idea of having one done makes me laugh. ehhehhe a scripture verse runs through my head lately, damn bible mastery! Nap time now Current Mood:  lethargic | | Monday, November 10th, 2003 | | 8:38 am |
no more alcohol for derek
sigh, I finally drank all the alcohol at work, I had a 3 waterbottle filled with rum, and I drank it all last night, it was a long day of scrubbing and hard work, frank asked if I wanted to go out with a coffee with him. Wow, a coffee with the boss eh? not bad. I heard some depressing news, Paul the district manager is threatening to "clean house". Which means he is going to lay off all the cleaners and contract workers and start fresh. That really bites. What an ignorant prick. The owner and managers are satisfied with our work, but the fucker still is trying to come after us. Crazy shit. I am surviver anyways, I can find work no matter what. Putting in my resume also at the hospital and butI hope I can get in a zehrs, damn their bureocratic bullshit. They can't hire anyone till a certain date or even touch any applications. I hate unions. I hate em with a passion. People put in the most stupid greivances. No more liquor for Derek till the wedding, I don't like to drink too much. I don't mind the occassional getting drunk, and even then I don't get drunk to the point were I have ever lost my reason or control. Even at Brinners' parents wedding, I drank twice as much as he did, and he passed out. Sigh, but then again I was 200+ pounds then and in great shape. I am keeping on the pounds now, which is great. Today is the ultrasound. Only one thing I care about the ultrasound. Is my baby healthy? I wouldn't want to raise a child that was severly flawed. That might change, but just how I feel. I always viewed a child as reflection of myself and my strengths. Ha, I pity Tam, if the kid is anything like me she will have a hell of a hard time in labour. I don't even really care if it is mine or not. It will be ackward at first, because it will always be a reminder of what happened if it wasn't mine. But to me it still be mine, because Tammy belongs to me now and no other. So her child is also mine. Boy I can just think of what people say from that statement, that I am over protective asshole that gets jealous easily. If Tam didn't belong to me and was mine alone, I would have to leave her and move on, I think that is the only condition I would leave tam on. I do value my and respect. Even though my profession, I still have have respect and my pride. A mans pride is a powerful thing. Challenge his manhood and you can get him to kill. I always had my pride, with all my g/fs. I knew they wouldn't betray me ever because I was so damn respected, especially if they went to the same school as me. I was not to be disrespected. No guy at my school, would sleep with any of my g/fs because I was respected and feared. My music teacher saw me at Zehrs, told me to stop on by sometime and jam with the band, I have earned the right to play in the band even though I can't go to practices, because I have been with them so long and put so much dedication in it. Also he said I could go on the band trip to Disney World, DAMMIT! They are playing at Disney World, like performing for Disney World at a concert, that is crazy, I would have loved to do that. That is a major preformance, unfortately it is the beginning of May. But that is alright. No worries. They heard me. I was in the audition tape. Someone heard my solos and said they were bitchin'. Recongization is nice. I gotta check out the new trumpet section there too. I am still called Sir Derek by anyone in music, oh yeah! All you band bitches bow before me, except cathy and kyle, you guys rule. *Remembers cathy playing Eine Kine Naucht on the flute and picollo. hehehe I got called Sir Derek, because I brought back a silver at the nationals, pretty good for a guy from a back water hick town like st. thomas to actually compete from guys from Toronto and nova scotia, all the way to British Columbia, and bring back a Silver. Saw Lindsay, Matt at work, stopped and talked them a bit. I miss Lindsay I don't see her no more :(. Damn her going to school. Oh well. Back to bed. | | Friday, November 7th, 2003 | | 7:54 pm |
my first cosplay
ya, I dressed up in the costume tam made me, and now we are selling it on ebay. Hopefully we can get something good for it, if we can, I think I will give her more money for her to be able to do costumes. They are actually good pictures we took in the costume. I should have had the hood a bit more up, but what can you do, ya ya take more pictures but I am lazy. Right now Tams is working on a Blade Master costume, druels. It will look so awesome when it is done. I was looking into smitting, that profession actually interests me a lot since I have a friend who does it. Maybe when things come down I will go into it, yah when I am forty heheheh. I feel so good, I am off cretein right now, to see if I can keep the weight on, Hopefully I wont drop back to 160, if I can keep at 170 and gradually gain it naturally what would be awesome. I am shooting back for 200 pounds. So happy Current Mood:  hyper | | Thursday, November 6th, 2003 | | 11:56 pm |
doped up on propane
on my "lunch" from work. There is a major propane leak at zehrs and I am soooooooo fucked up. All I can do is smell propane, and my head hurts so much, I had to come home to grab a wrench, so I am taking my one hour lunch now. I get to go over to tammy's tomorrow, I am sooo happy. The ultrasound is this monday and I can't wait. I am little nervous but that is to be expected. I wonder how much the larva costume will sell on ebay... if a good ammount that would be awesome and I would totally support tam on it. well I gotta drink some caffine and go back into work | | Monday, November 3rd, 2003 | | 7:56 am |
my guardian angel of divinity and serenity
lately, I have been pressed harder then I ever had before. Fortunately I am getting through it all and my mood is lightened lately. I can soon go off the cretein since I am at a healthy weight again, 170, which to me is rediciously low, since I was at 190-200. I actually had a moment of inner peace and self actualization. I wish anyone could have seen the look on my face when I had it, I felt nothing but peace and serenity in that moment. Maybe my god hasn't forsaken me, just left me out in the rain for a bit. I have found new strength and vigor again. This feeling of inner peace is still with me and is the most wonderful dulling sensation I have ever felt in my life. I am still having trouble sleeping properly, but I never needed much sleep anyways. I have to ask forgiveness from my fiance, I have put her through some unnecessary grief. I just want what is best for her and the baby. I worry about the baby the most. I worry because of where the cat liter is placed, I worry about the cat getting into Tams food because she left it on the floor and went back to eat it later. I only get after her because I want our baby to be strong and healthy. I am putting my application in at Zehrs for midnights, Ideally, I can get in there, get into the union, then be transfered to the new zehrs and get transfer pay *hurrah* Pay day is today wahoo! But off to bed for now, to dream of my Esherado Current Mood:  peaceful | | Wednesday, October 22nd, 2003 | | 4:29 pm |
realization
if I move in with Tammy, I will have to get rid of my turtles... my boys, and girls. I have had one of them since I was 3. She was a birthday and christmas present. Both my parents were too busy for me. My dad worked all the time and my mom ran her own business and I lived in the country. I actually got 2, but the one died when I was 4. That hurt so much they were my best friends. I actually learned how to tell the difference between male and female turtles, and accidental named the girl Donatello. I almost lost Donatello too, we had to eye drops in her eyes, and make vegetable broth and put her in it. She was having trouble eatting, so this way she would drink some of it and regain her strength. I got another turtle at next christmas to replace the one that died, I am 5 now, and I named him Raph, when we put them in the same tank, Don tried to go after Raph and bite a piece of the back shell off. So I had to get a glass tank divider and two platforms so they would get used to eachother and Don wouldn't attack him. They kept me company when both my brothers and sisters were gone, and amber was still just a baby, and my parents gave all their attention to her. My turtles tank sat in my room, and kept me company at night, it was probably the only reason I wasn't afraid of the dark as a kid, though I developed wierd thoughts like if I covered my neck vampires couldn't drink my blood so I never had my neck not covered by a blanket, strange. I got two more turtles two Christmas' later, I was now 7. When I got fish, my turtles didn't know how to catch them that well. So I would catch the fish with a net, and remove all their fins with my nails so the fishes couldn't swim that well and would give the turtles a better chance at catching them. The one was having trouble still so I flicked the fish in the head to knock it unconsciece so it could eat fish too. After a while, they were pros at catching fish, I could empty 20 gold fish into the tank and they would eat them all up in about 3 minutes. The maintenance on them was so hard, I had to scrub their shells with a tooth brush and empty the tank and remove the calcium buildup and clean their filters, it was such a pain. Donatello really didn't like getting his shell scrubbed. Donatello would always try to escape from the tank, the turtles would stack themselves up, and Don would be at the top and would push the tank top off, I even put a brick on top of the cover and she still pushed it off, I would get so worried about her because I would look all over the place to find her. I even got them to eat food pellets out of my hand. I take them out and show them off and joke with my friends and say if you weren't careful they would bite your finger off, and I love my turtles too much for someone to cut them up just to get your finger back. Also raced them too. Hilerious shit. I also found another turtle that got ran over by lawnmower and took him in, and got all his shots. He was well behaved actually, I think he was a pet that someone just got rid of. Its sad, because you cant buy turtles anymore, because people just get rid of them once they grow up or they die at young ages, because of poor treatment. I named my turtles, Don, Raph, Leo, Mike, Mike II, and turtle. I have had them for such a long time, but I guess I gotta say good bye now. So many more memories with them, but my hand hurts from typing, they were really good turtles. Only gotten bitten once. I thought I would have them forever. It was just something that I accepted as reality and didn't even think about it, when I found out Tammy was having baby. Like, my turtles were going to live longer then my Dad. I just accepted that they would always be there. I am going to miss them so much, I hope I can find a good home for them, I would never have the heart to release them into the wild. They wouldn't last there, the Canadian winter would kill them since they are imported (Red Ears). I would have to put them down. | | Saturday, October 18th, 2003 | | 9:19 am |
strings to tight to pull
couldn't get Brian to come into work for me today, oh well, offered him a way to make money, and he turned it down so I don't feel so bad about demanding $200 this month from what he owes me. Makes me laugh because he has to pay $200 dollars for a new crank for his bike, money for therapy, pay back his dad, and still have money to pay for Christmas. I don't think he will ever have a cent to his name anymore. Lives pay check to pay check. He is lucky his mom gave him $100 dollars, or he would have been in trouble for student fees hehehe. Sugar attacked me or I should say went feral on me. Its Apple Day today, because a little cub scout came to my door trying to sell me an apple, I gave him the spare change I had for my delicious apple. I remember doing that a long long time ago. Well not so long, boy I feel old. I guess that is why I feel so old because I don't do that stuff anymore. I miss going camping and hiking. Sigh, I just wish, that I could go to the national musicfest festival. I just wanted a gold. That would prove on a national level my stuff. I got two silver and one bronze but no gold. Actually I got another two silvers in concert band playing but I don't count those usually. I also wanted to compete in singles in badminton at OFSAA this year. Maybe even go to WOFSAA. That would be awesome. I feel so bad about missing the girls birthday party. I really did want to go. I hope they don't hate me for it. Tammy is really happy about the wedding. Makes me glad she is looking forward to it. I am going to have a women as my best man. That will be interesting. Its breaking tradition but meh, what can you do? Gotta go to work soon, grrr I wish I could have gone to the birthday party, sigh oh well. | | 12:46 am |
| | Tuesday, October 14th, 2003 | | 12:58 am |
do I care what my heart is for?
Today was a back breaking hard working day, I am not sure if I get time and an half. If I did that would be pretty sweet. Angelo's midnight contract might be retract, if so, I will be happier beyond belief. I would be able to easily take care of Tammy and our baby. Daniel called me an idiot. Which I didn't like, I tried to be civil, but if he came down again he wouldn't be leaving in a good condition. I hate him so much. *growls. Well I am going to see my baby tomorrow, so I will be happy and talk to her about a double date, hope she goes for it hehehehehe | | Friday, October 10th, 2003 | | 9:14 pm |
a misunderstanding
sigh Life gets so complicated some days. Misunderstandings, doubts and fears are closing in now. I know what I want, just as certain as the cut on my wrist. People say having a kid is a lot of hard work. So is building a soap box car, but when its all done and finished, its worth it. Same with having a kid. Tammy thinks I don't want to get married to her. But I do, she just doesn't understand. I still love her, and will continue to do so, I just want to give us the best chance we got. Is that so wrong, if it means putting off the wedding I could live with that, what she doesn't get is that I do want to get married and soon. I just don't want to ruin her. I love her so much and I just didn't want to be selfish. Cathy took the fact that I got my girlfriend pregnant really hard, she is such a sweetie and good friend, I thought she was going to cry at one point, but she did slug me one good, *rubs jaw* oh well, I also stopped my Tams parents and gave them the money for Tam's tuition. I want to be so that Tam is total independent from them. I want it so if they are over and totally disrespecting me I can ask them to leave. Also I don't want them holding anything over tammy's head so that they can influence her decisions just because she owes them money. If they were really disrespecting me at the apartment I would ask them to leave since I paid them back including the month of rent they paid. There is no need for that | | Saturday, September 20th, 2003 | | 4:19 pm |
lunch time
ummmmm I went home for lunch today and decided I would update my livejournal while I was here. I saw Donny Darko last night. That movie sooo rocked! I hated the ending though. I think I will visit my sweetie tonight after she gets back hanging out with her parents, I think I will just stay the night and hang out with her all sunday :D. I think she would like that. I hope I didn't worry her by saying I was giving her a break from sex. I just don't want her to think that all I am in this is for sex. Even though I really really like it ;). Man some guys make me sick. Stacy's boyfriend was having a talk with her saying he was going to break up with her because they didn't have enough sex. That is bullshit. It made me soo mad to hear that. What kinda man is he? Not very much of one if he would dump someone because of that. She was sleeping with him like once every week or every other week. Didn't talk to her person about, or on the phone, but on MSN messenger! how weak is that? Oh well, my teacher freaked out and gave us a shit load of assignments. Sucks sooo much. Well, I gotta get going back to work | | Wednesday, September 17th, 2003 | | 2:12 am |
laying down the law
maybe I am being too strict, in my head I dont think I am Is it wrong to lay down rules? I think they are fair. If Tammy wants to have male visitors she cannot have them stay in her apartment. First it is too small to have anyone really staying there. If they want to come down, they will have to pay for an a hotel or find other living arrangements. I do not have any girls staying over at my house ever. It is like having a girl stay the weekend over in my bedroom. I could swear all I want nothing is going to happen but would still make any girlfriend feel uncomfortable. I trust Tammy but I do not trust the intentions of guys coming to see her. I am not saying she cant have guy friends, or not have them come down, it is just that they will have to find their own living arrangements if they do. I will not tolerate any disrespectful behaviour while anyone comes down to visit her. I let a lot of it slide last time, but next time if anyone was to come down and to directly disrespect me would be asking to be hit. I do not fear being proscuted what so ever. If the person was to lay charges on me, they must be present for the trial to stand witness against me. Trials in this great country of ours for shit like this does not get held for about 6 months. It can be remanded about 3 times easily, and you must be present for each time or the case is thrown out. People who think I am talking out of my ass, I know the legal system very well here. Sigh, I am glad to have Tammy though, just thinking of her helps me get through my shitty days at school. I don't wanna lose her. She should have no worries about other girls stealing me away. Girls dont want me :(. Just wait hun I will propose to you don't worry | | Sunday, August 31st, 2003 | | 5:12 am |
learning is fun
just finally learned how to rip from a dvd to an AVI file, hurrah, now I can rip tammy's saikano DVDs for her :D hurrah, grrrr reading sucks, and sooo much downloading :(, if anyone knows anything about file conversions and that stuff or good ripping software it would be sooo appreciated. Sigh, I was hoping Tammy would call me tonight so I could ask her what is going on for the rest of the weekend because if she was staying there sunday night I would love to crash with her :D other then that I hung out with brian and his g/f and mer again we went to the park and I ran around in my boxers, because the girls locked us out of the car, and was driving around, doesn't make sense now to me, but it did at the time. Unfortunately a policer officer saw this and made me take a breathilizer and serval tests :( some people are sooo fucking rude especially when they say I should go back out with mer, it fucking pisses me off. People don't realize that Tammy is like my sweet heart. I wouldn't trade her for anyone. Well I am incoherent right now, too much reading so I will sign off for now Current Mood:  tired | | Thursday, August 28th, 2003 | | 12:53 pm |
Successfully pulled my all nighter. My sister only got 2 months of open custody :(. That is such a joke. Open custody means you are put into a group home where you eat great meals and get to play sony playstation 2. HA! our legal system is such a joke. Some chick once got 2 months for stabbing someone and was a repeat offender. I would rather see my sister in jail for one month, then in open custody for 6 months. Ack, someone thought I was freakout or ktel on mIRC and was bitching me out, wow, some people are pretty damn rude. grrrrrrrrrr, I am still waiting for the milk to thaw, I hate when people freeze their milk, *cough *cough MOM! hehehe back to staying awake | | 3:44 am |
hangin at my moms house
My g/f finally came over to my house. Its been long time since she been over and it was nice. We were able to spend some time together alone and be able to talk freely and relax and hang out with complete privacy. I showed her the DVD that I was working on for her. The program is very nice and I recommond it to anyone. I don't know how the burning went because I am here at my moms because I told her I would sign for a package that was coming to her house while her and Amber was at court. Hopefully, Amber doesn't get sentenced heavily and still has a job to go back to. She didn't show up for work 3 times in her first month :( dumbass. But if she has no job and is in jail then that mean she can't pay me back, damn! But then again part of me hopes she is put away for a long time because she has fucked up pretty bad and deserves it and hopefully this will put some sense in her, sigh, family. I am the only one of all my brothers and sisters not to get a record, but then again, I was too smart to get caught for anything. Then again I never did steal a car and rob people in Toronto with a gun. I think I have protected my sister enough, its time for her to learn, I have bailed her out of some hairy situations, next time she will not get any protection or money from me. Sigh if she isn't in jail she will be living at my Dads again. Grrr and that little bitch stole my wallet. On positive note my mom is going to do my girlfriends hair in the middle of September. My mom wasn't that bad when she meet Tammy hurrah! That makes me sooo happy. Even though she said her hair was like straw and was insulting her eyebrows it could have been worse. HEHEHEHEHEHE, my girlfriend told me some interesting things tonight.. ummmm, druels bwahahha oh well wouldn't be the first time ;) dammit I am pulling an all nighter to get my sleep back into routine for school ACK! I STILL HAVE TO GO UP THERE AND FIX MY SCHEDULE! Current Mood: rejuvenated |
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